Dear Toilet Paper,

how grateful i am you exist.

whether it’s in times of dire need, to blow our noses, for our children’s entertainment or for our pets to chew on… you are always there.
you never complain, although you seem to happen to encounter precarious situations quite often… and let’s not forget, you manage to endure unique (and disturbing) sights. a lot of them.

i felt like giving you credit for what you do for us, because you seem to be forgotten quite often. i think it has to do with you being closely involved with our rear ends – and that, not many people like to talk about.
i thank you for your services, whether you’re fluffy or are having a rough day… it’s been a while since i found you absent and i appreciate your punctuality and reliability.

i hope you will never quit your job and leave us with more rudimentary methods.

sincerely,
a satisfied customer

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