Dear Weight,

today, i forced you off my shoulders.

i have to admit that my stomach got a bit queasy before i took action, but that was to be expected – after such a long time.
i was so used to you… and it did not cross my mind that i was carrying all this extra weight over the past couple of years… and not just my own.
i am happy i finally found out.

i would advise you not to cling to anyone else – it is not a nice move, and – to be honest – you won’t make many friends this way.
maybe you should diet a little to make yourself lighter… oh, and don’t forget to tell your true owner i said ‘hi’.
i am just tired of you making my back hurt – it’s not gonna happen anymore.

so please, stay gone. i never want to see you again. knowing you wasn’t as nice as i thought… you should really work on your people skills.

sincerely,
the former weight lifter

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